It was either George Washington or Lil Wayne that once said: “Life is the bitch, and death is her sister, Sleep is the cousin—what a fuckin’ family picture!”
Sleep is a rare commodity once you have children. I don’t think my wife has slept in over two years. She’s simply entered some mom autopilot state of being where everything that needs to be done is but if I were to snap her out of it, she wouldn’t remember a thing. Myself, on the other hand, would be a mess if I went without sleep for even the littlest chunk of time. I am a 100% baby when it comes to sleep. I need it, I love it and I can do it anywhere. I often fall asleep on the couch, like maybe most men do while watching tv or reading a book. It just happens so easily even if all the lights are on and the television is blasting. My body and mind do not care. Once I enter into shut down mode that’s it until morning.
In our house, my wife is a night owl and me not so much. I would go to bed at 9:30 pm if it was possible. To jump into the covers then kick them all of and get a solid 8 hours of sleep, something that occurs less frequently than a total solar eclipse it seems. I operate on an average for four to five hours of sleep. I have adjusted to this scaled back version of sleep. I in such a routine that no matter what time I go to sleep, my body knows to wake up at 5 am. I was never a morning person really. My mother always boasted about the fact that I would go to bed at 7 pm and sleep until 10 am. All throughout high school, I grasped for those last few minutes of sleep as my alarm clock chirped in my ear. The snooze button was my best friend.
This morning I woke up again at 4:44 am, started to get dressed and ready for work. Peanut woke up, her bed was wet so we changed her bottom sheet, changed her diaper and got her back into bed. My wife laid down with her as left for work. She had been up all night with our other child who not only thought it was playtime at 1:00 am but is also cutting a molar, so yeah she’s a bundle of joy. In a couple of hours, my kids will roll out of bed and start the day. My wife will again flip the autopilot switch and start the day. It’s an amazing ability most moms seem to have, I know I can’t do it.
One day in the future I see us sitting up in bed, drinking tea, reading a nice book and clicking off the light and falling into a nice eight-hour sleep in a quiet house. Until then coffee is a parent’s best friend.